The Story of Jonah (part 2)

This blog is a continuation of the story of Jonah. To fully understand what is happening go back and read “The Story of Jonah (part 1). I will continue to tell the story in my own words.

So the sailors consider what Jonah told them to do and figure they wanted no part of that. These guys may not have been boy scouts, but they weren’t murders either. They were just tryin to make a livin and get on with their lives and they had no interest in throwing somebody overboard just because he told them they could.

So the sailors rowed for their lives, but it didn’t matter they weren’t goin anywhere. The waves continued to batter the ship and the men were getting more and more tired. So they started talking amongst themselves and one sailor said to another, “This Hebrew ain’t worth the trouble he is causin. “All we gotta do is toss him overboard and all our troubles are over. “Ain’t it better that one man die rather than the who ship perish?” But the other dude said, “You are talking out of your rectum. “Jonah already told us that the Hebrew God is after him for not following orders and everything. “If we throw him overboard then we are gonna have the Hebrew God coming after us. “By the looks of things that won’t be very good.”

So they started consorting over the matter and even figured on drawing lots again. One said one thing and another said another thing but in the end the sea was as bad as ever and they were no better off. Then they did what everybody eventually does when their lives are on the line; they prayed. Boy did they pray; they were telling God that they did not want to throw Jonah overboard and they actually liked the guy but Jonah said orders were orders and he had to be tossed so we are gonna toss him. They begged God not to harm them or their families and they even prayed for Jonah because they figured he was as good as dead.

So they tossed the rebellious prophet overboard and the sea stopped is raging. The men looked at each other and said, “How did the sea stop so quickly? Sailors knew that the sea continues to remain agitated for hours after a storm passes. So when they saw the sea get calm as quickly as it did they knew this was very unusual, even miraculous. So the men feared the Hebrew God and made vows and offered a sacrifice to the Lord God because they knew that He was the Lord God Almighty.

When you think about it you have to realize that the first Gentile converts from Jonah were not in Nineveh they were multi national sailors in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. Funny how God works, because Jonah was in a state of rebellion when these men became converts and now they would take the news of God’s mercy back to their homes and tell everyone of the wonders of the Hebrew God. Turning gentiles into Hebrews was the very thing Jonah did not want to do and he did it without even going to Nineveh. You can’t keep a good man down.

So there is Jonah floatin around in the middle of the sea and the ship gets pushed along by a gentle wind and Jonah sees it goin away and figures he is gonna die, and that was just fine for him because things hadn’t been goin so well lately anyhow. Low and behold this huge fish comes by and opens its great big yap and swallows Jonah whole. So Jonah is sittin there in the dark figuring he was gonna be digested before long but he doesn’t get digested. The fish doesn’t even burp. It’s like the fish doesn’t even know Jonah is inside.

Three days go bye and Jonah is still sittin there and he suddenly realizes that he is not gonna die. He also realizes that he ain't getting out of that fish until he has a sit down with the Almighty. He starts telling God that he thought he was gonna die and God pulled him out of that jam and now it is time for him to pay back God.

Then the Lord God Almighty commands Jonah a second time telling him that he better hightail it to Nineveh and tell them what God is gonna tell Jonah to tell them. So Jonah takes the long walk to Nineveh and when he arrives he looks… well lets just say he looks like someone who had been in a great big fish for three days. Not exactly dating material. He goes to the city and starts telling everybody that in forty days they are gonna be toast, and ya know what they even start belivin him.

Once he even walks into a bar and stands up on the bar itself and looks everybody in the eye, one at a time of course. The bartender says, “Yo dude get off my bar.” Then Jonah looks at the bartender and it was one of those if looks could kill looks. And he says to the bartender, “What are you gonna do if I don’t?” The bartender says to Jonah, “Look punk if you don’t get off my bar I’m gonna call my friends over and we are gonna wail on you but good.” Jonah didn’t even flinch. He just looked at the bartender and said, “Go ahead, make my day.” The bartender was so shocked he just let Jonah stay there.

Then Jonah said to everybody in the bar, “Listen up pilgrims and listen good. “In forty days all of you are gonna be worm food because the Lord God Almighty has told me to tell you that you are a miserable lot, you don’t call on God, you don’t pray for anybody including yourselves, you don’t try to help people that you know, or even people you don’t know. “You take care of yourselves and no one else and God loves everybody including you and He wants each of us to love our neighbor even if you don’t like them..” The Lord expects you to love you neighbor and help them and He is tired of all the killin and evil that goes down when a people does not have a moral compass to guide them. “The Lord God has already told you what is good and what is required of you, to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”(Micah 6:8.) “You fellow man is your responsibility, not anyone else’s." The people in the bar looked at Jonah as if he had two heads. Then they started to talk amongst themselves and figured he was right they really were bad people.

To be continued.