Father Jonathan Morris, a catholic priest, wrote a book titled The Promise where he tries to explain human suffering and disasters from God’s perspective. The gist of his argument is that even in the midst of great suffering and trauma people going through these painful trials often become better because of them. Better meaning more mature, more patient and more accepting of trials. Through our trials God is actually saying he loves us and wants what is best for us and that is why he permits us to undergo all this pain. I don’t envy Father Morris in his effort to explain this, as any human effort trying to explain what God has in mind when tragedy strikes will undoubtedly lead to cynicism and maybe even bitterness from some readers.
I will attempt to explain the Father’s position and remind readers the position is not exclusively his own it is actually shared by numerous Christian writers including Philip Yancey, Peter Kreeft and C.S. Lewis just to name a few. In short they argue that God allows suffering to take place for reasons that make no sense to us now but will at some later date either in this lifetime or the next. The main crux of their argument is that in spite of everything God is in control, He loves us and He is good.
Father Morris quotes several writers to make his point. Augustine of Hippo, a fourth to fifth century theologian wrote in his Enchiridion “God is so good that he would never permit anything evil to occur, unless he were powerful enough to be able to draw good from every instance of evil.” Peter Kreeft who authored numerous Christian apologies writes in his book Making Sense out of Suffering, “In a universe created and maintained by God powerful enough to abolish all suffering at once, loving enough to want only our blessedness, and wise enough to know always what makes for our blessedness, the only reason serious enough to justify God’s continued tolerance of suffering is our need for it.” Father Morris explains that our need for it means for our fulfillment as human beings. In other words suffering makes us better at being what we are, human.
Rabbi Kushner writes in his book When Bad Things Happen to Good People, “ I am a more sensitive person, a more effective pastor, a more sympathetic counselor because of Aaron’s (his son) life and death than I would have ever been without it.” Rabbi Kushner goes on to say that he would gladly give all those attributes back if he could have his son back but he doesn’t have that option. C.S. Lewis writes in his book The Problem of Pain, “We are not merely imperfect creatures we are rebels who need to lay down our arms.” His point is that pain helps us do that.
The apostle Paul, not to be left out, has a similar position when he wrote to the first century persecuted Christians living in Rome under brutal rulers. “Not only that, but we even brag about our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy spirit that has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5)
The argument that all the writers present is that we need to hurt, we need pain to bring us to our senses as to who we really are in God’s eyes. Pain keeps us from getting too big for our breeches, from forgetting that we are no better than anyone else. Paul wrote of the need for this in his own life when he wrote to the church at Corinth (a town in Greece) “…to keep me from being arrogant there was given to me a thorn to irritate me so I would not exalt myself too highly.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9 my translation) Paul is saying that because of his many visions he could see himself the same way others may see him, as above everyone else in the Christian church but God allowed a painful trial to enter his life and that experience humbled him. As a result of his humiliating experience he could not feel superior to fellow Christians because they would merely point out his infirmaries and say, “If God thinks you are so high and mighty why are you still in pain? “You suffer just like everybody else.”
All these writers are saying the same thing; God loves us enough to allow us to suffer. To this conclusion I have two questions: one, what is heaven like? Two, why doesn’t God love Hugh Hefner?
My point about the first question is if heaven is a place of peace and tranquility where no pain exists than why doesn’t God love us enough to cause us pain in heaven. This is said tongue in cheek of course I have no desire to see pain in heaven or anywhere else. My point is if, as the aforementioned writers suggest, pain is so necessary for our continued growth then in heaven we will not grow at all without it. That means that ten trillion years after going to haven we will still be struggling with nasty habits like chewing our fingernails or burping out loud. I can’t believe God will put up with that.
My second point is if God gives us pain because he loves us why did Hugh Hefner miss the pain bus. Hugh Hefner is the founder of Playboy magazine. Mr. Hefner’s life epitomizes what most male’s desire, money, women and power. I think it can be argued that Mr. Hefner and pain rarely see each other; it may be true that they have yet to be introduced. Either way it is safe to say that pain and Mr. Hefner are not on speaking terms.
I am saying all of this to point out that if God freely gives pain for our benefit than why are some benefited more than others. Why do some see great trials while others see little in the way of difficulty? Hugh Hefner started his magazine with a few thousand dollars and it is now worth one hundred million. Vincent Van Gogh died penniless and Mozart was buried in a pauper’s grave, if both men were alive today they would be billionaires.
So while I appreciate the writer’s perspective on God’s intent for our suffering and his ultimate love for us I also think they may have missed something; apparently God loves some more than others. Personally, I feel very loved and would appreciate the opportunity of seeing others enjoy the love of God as much as I do, especially, those who don’t love God at all.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Human Life: When is it really Human?
I recently borrowed a book from the library titled Doctors from Hell by Vivien Spitz. Ms. Spitz was a court reporter during the Nuremberg trials and witnessed first hand the testimony of certified German physicians who during the 1930’s and 1940’s ordered, or took part in, test experimentation of prisoners for the purpose of learning more about what causes death and how diseases can be cured. The prisoners were Jews, Russian soldiers, Gypsies and even Polish catholic priests whose only crime was that they took a stand against the deportation of Jewish people being sent to concentration camps.
It is interesting to note that the doctors generally saw these experiments as necessary for the betterment of German society and of course to help the German soldiers who were trying to take over the whole world. The types of experiments conducted on these people included, high altitude stress test, freezing, malaria, mustard gas, typhus, smallpox and so on. Prisoners were used, against their will, as test subjects so the Nazi researchers could potentially find a cure to these and other human maladies. In a number of experiments the prisoners were given lethal doses of substances to see how long it would take for them to die. In the end there were an untold number of deaths with little scientific knowledge to benefit anyone.
How these doctors eventually came to the point of doing this is easy to understand when one considers that the prisoners were looked upon as inferior, even less than human. In short the doctors forgot their Hippocratic oath which states in part, “…I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone. I will not give a lethal drug to anyone if I am asked, nor will I advise such a plan and similarly I will not give a woman anything to cause an abortion…”
One German doctor, Karl Brandt who was eventually executed for his involvement in these experiments, was quoted as saying “The general need for experiments on human beings…has been recognized by all nations as a military necessity.” This occurred at a time when the Third Reich was attempting to perfect the Arian race and any foreigners or, non-pure Germans (those considered impure because they possessed Jewish blood lines), were considered to be of lesser value than those of pure German stock.
Dr. Brandt was not alone in his assessment of the need for human research to benefit society. In fact, today there are many in our society who share his opinion. Surprisingly those same people look at the Nazi doctors and wonder in astonishment how licensed physicians could be directly involved with human experiments no matter what the benefit. However, this is easy to understand as long as one does not see the experimental subject as completely human in fact the less human they appear the easier it is to experiment on them.
On March 9th 2009, President Obama signed into legislation an order that permits federal funding for embryonic stem cell research. The president did this to the applause of numerous Democratic members of congress. The gist of his argument for signing the legislation is the presumption that embryonic stem cell research will pave the way for cures to diseases that, at present, remain incurable.
Embryonic stem cell research is highly controversial because the cells in question are from human embryos. No matter what the outcome of the research it is crucial to understand that this is not the first time human death has been the result of research and not the first time it was done with the hope of benefiting mankind with the results.
Embryonic stem cells do not appear human and most don’t see them as human. Make no mistake the purpose of this research is to find cures and benefit mankind; just like the research that was done in Germany 60 years ago on people who also weren’t considered human.
However, much to the delight of our researchers they won’t be held accountable for their actions certainly not the same way as the German doctors of WWII; at least not in this lifetime.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Is the world coming to an end or just my 401 K?
The financial chaos that has occurred over the past several weeks has many of us wondering what is going on? It is a good question when one considers the fact that many of the experts in this area don't know either. You may have an opinion or two as to whether or not the federal government should have stepped in a offered 750 Billion dollars to the credit institutions of this nation. However, it does appear that most legislators saw little choice but to support the measure as they voted with one hand and held their noses with the other. I just wanted to remind all of you over 50 as I will be in two days that the money is not all gone and most of it wasn't yours to begin with.
Allow me to explain. Most of us have money taken out of out pay and immediately invested into a diversified investment plan known to us as a 401K. All this came about years ago when company pensions began drying up as companies went out of business. As a result congress instituted an investment plan for companies to allow employees to submit a portion of their salary for the purpose of their retirement. Sounded like a good idea and most companies went for the plan and today most Americans now are invested in wall street.
During the 80's and 90's when the stock market was going into the stratosphere everybody felt good about their retirement plans and some felt so good they even began investing outside their 401K, that is, investing in the stock market in general. Some people felt so confident they even became day traders. Many ofter boasted about all the money they had accumulated over the years and how they may be able to retire early and enjoy the good life. Today those same people aren't heard from. That's because they passed out after opening their monthly statement.
However, I have to wonder how much of their money they actually lost? I am not a finance expert and have no formal training in economics it's just that I believe there is a misunderstanding about what is owed to an investor and what is entitled. Each of us is entitled to a paycheck as long as we are employed within the law. That is an entitlement. You work, you get paid. When it comes to work you are physically or mentally applying a skill to an end that will benefit your employer. In return your employer is paying you for your services.
Investing is a little different and it's not an entitlement. When it comes to investments you are submitting your money with the hope of gaining more. That's all it is; hope. There is no guarantee. You are not physically or mentally working while your money is invested. You are going about your business doing whatever and your money is working all by its lonesome. So when your investment grows, or matures over time is not the result of your work. True you may have done some research into an investment however you personally did not work on behalf of your money. You willingly expected others to do that. Remember, all the hard work and effort that the employees of your invested company made on your behalf, as a result they received a paycheck and you received and increase in your investment.
I fully understand why so many are upset about the drop in their 401K as my own has taken a hit. However, in my case there was so little to begin with the 25% drop wasn't noticeable.
As For Christians, we should not concern ourselves with this as our hope is in the Lord and He will sustain us as is His will. This may not seem like much comfort but consider the persecution so many of our brothers and sisters face all over the planet and I think you will conclude, we got off easy.
Allow me to explain. Most of us have money taken out of out pay and immediately invested into a diversified investment plan known to us as a 401K. All this came about years ago when company pensions began drying up as companies went out of business. As a result congress instituted an investment plan for companies to allow employees to submit a portion of their salary for the purpose of their retirement. Sounded like a good idea and most companies went for the plan and today most Americans now are invested in wall street.
During the 80's and 90's when the stock market was going into the stratosphere everybody felt good about their retirement plans and some felt so good they even began investing outside their 401K, that is, investing in the stock market in general. Some people felt so confident they even became day traders. Many ofter boasted about all the money they had accumulated over the years and how they may be able to retire early and enjoy the good life. Today those same people aren't heard from. That's because they passed out after opening their monthly statement.
However, I have to wonder how much of their money they actually lost? I am not a finance expert and have no formal training in economics it's just that I believe there is a misunderstanding about what is owed to an investor and what is entitled. Each of us is entitled to a paycheck as long as we are employed within the law. That is an entitlement. You work, you get paid. When it comes to work you are physically or mentally applying a skill to an end that will benefit your employer. In return your employer is paying you for your services.
Investing is a little different and it's not an entitlement. When it comes to investments you are submitting your money with the hope of gaining more. That's all it is; hope. There is no guarantee. You are not physically or mentally working while your money is invested. You are going about your business doing whatever and your money is working all by its lonesome. So when your investment grows, or matures over time is not the result of your work. True you may have done some research into an investment however you personally did not work on behalf of your money. You willingly expected others to do that. Remember, all the hard work and effort that the employees of your invested company made on your behalf, as a result they received a paycheck and you received and increase in your investment.
I fully understand why so many are upset about the drop in their 401K as my own has taken a hit. However, in my case there was so little to begin with the 25% drop wasn't noticeable.
As For Christians, we should not concern ourselves with this as our hope is in the Lord and He will sustain us as is His will. This may not seem like much comfort but consider the persecution so many of our brothers and sisters face all over the planet and I think you will conclude, we got off easy.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
The Story of Jonah (part 5)
This story is the continuation of the Jonah story. See the first 4 parts to fully understand what in the tarnation is going on.
Then the king held a meeting with his muckity mucks. The king said to the gang, “Ya know we have been plunderin all over the world and takin everybody for granted for a long time maybe we crossed the line.” One of his Lieutenants said, “I don’t know king. “I’m not so sure we did anything wrong because I’ve read up on Darwin’s survival of the fittest theory and I think we have acted well within our rights to do what we have done.” Then another kingly advisor says, “Ya know king you may be right. “We haven’t been showin a whole lot of mercy and compassion and things like that.”
So the king ordered them that they should all pay heed to Jonah’s warning. The king called for a fast and told everyone to put on sackcloth and ashes and ask God to forgive them. By now they pretty much figured they were either gonna be spared or toasted; there seemed to be no in-between.
Jonah wasn’t real happy about the whole thing because it was day number 40 and the sky was clear and blue. He just figured that there was gonna be a hail stone storm, or some other delightful act on God’s part to show these pesky Ninevites who was boss. He figured because it was day forty there would be some indication of it by now. So Jonah goes into a coffee shop and starts watchin the news. He asks one of the servers to change the channel so he could watch the weather forecast. Once that happened Jonah could see for himself there wasn’t so much as a drop of rain or anything else in sight. If God was gonna destroy Nineveh he was gonna do it some other way.
Finally, Jonah goes up to a hill overlooking the city and starts looking around to see if there be any good news. Nothin. It was the fortieth day and the sun was high and Jonah told God that the heat and the frustration of everything was really gettin to him and he wanted to die. So God appointed a really fast growing plant to grow up and cover Jonah to protect him from the searing sun and dry wind. And Jonah was real happy about the plant because it was as hot as blazes where he was sittin.
Later that evening J decides to crash for the night. While he is lying there he figures his math calculation may be off by a tad. God may have actually been givin the Ninevite people forty days to write their wills and then he was gonna blast em. Using his new math calculation he now figured that Nineveh was gonna be destroyed the next day, that bein day number forty-one. So he gazed up to the stars and smiled figurin that tomorrow God was gonna toast these people but good.
The next morning J wakes up with a smile and stretches and looks down over the city and sees…nothing. In one fleeting moment J figures God killed every one of them in their sleep. But no sooner then he could jump for joy at that though he noticed someone walking slowly down a street covered with sackcloth. Then he began to notice some farm animals covered with sackcloth. J thinks to himself, “That’s not something you see everyday.” J was puzzled by these events and wondered why everyone was in morning, even the cattle. They usually don’t morn over their dead. Then it slowly began to dawn on J that if everyone was wearing sackcloth there must have been a kingly order requiring such conduct.
Now he was really steamed and told God that he wanted to die because God wasn’t gonna do what he said he was gonna do. Now God steps into the picture and says to Jonah that the true nature of God desires repentance and forgiveness. Two things Jonah has been lacking. God also accused Jonah of not caring about anyone but himself and scolded Jonah for not having any compassion on the children who would have perished.
In the bible the story of Jonah ends as abruptly as it begins. There is little mention of Jonah outside his book and it is not even clear who wrote the story. Since the entire reference is in third person it gives evidence that the story was written by someone other than Jonah.
The people of Nineveh repented and were spared but the story has a deeper meaning. The story brings to light God’s plan for the gentiles, those who did not have an inheritance of God’s mercy as the Jews. Jesus was the next Jonah to walk the planet. Jesus brought the message of hope to everyone and removed forever the curse of darkness that had plagued all non-believers.
That’s why Jesus referred to Jonah when he said that he would be three days in the heart of the earth like Jonah was three days in the belly of a fish. Because the same thing was going to happened when Jesus got out of the grave as when Jonah got out of the fish; salvation.
Then the king held a meeting with his muckity mucks. The king said to the gang, “Ya know we have been plunderin all over the world and takin everybody for granted for a long time maybe we crossed the line.” One of his Lieutenants said, “I don’t know king. “I’m not so sure we did anything wrong because I’ve read up on Darwin’s survival of the fittest theory and I think we have acted well within our rights to do what we have done.” Then another kingly advisor says, “Ya know king you may be right. “We haven’t been showin a whole lot of mercy and compassion and things like that.”
So the king ordered them that they should all pay heed to Jonah’s warning. The king called for a fast and told everyone to put on sackcloth and ashes and ask God to forgive them. By now they pretty much figured they were either gonna be spared or toasted; there seemed to be no in-between.
Jonah wasn’t real happy about the whole thing because it was day number 40 and the sky was clear and blue. He just figured that there was gonna be a hail stone storm, or some other delightful act on God’s part to show these pesky Ninevites who was boss. He figured because it was day forty there would be some indication of it by now. So Jonah goes into a coffee shop and starts watchin the news. He asks one of the servers to change the channel so he could watch the weather forecast. Once that happened Jonah could see for himself there wasn’t so much as a drop of rain or anything else in sight. If God was gonna destroy Nineveh he was gonna do it some other way.
Finally, Jonah goes up to a hill overlooking the city and starts looking around to see if there be any good news. Nothin. It was the fortieth day and the sun was high and Jonah told God that the heat and the frustration of everything was really gettin to him and he wanted to die. So God appointed a really fast growing plant to grow up and cover Jonah to protect him from the searing sun and dry wind. And Jonah was real happy about the plant because it was as hot as blazes where he was sittin.
Later that evening J decides to crash for the night. While he is lying there he figures his math calculation may be off by a tad. God may have actually been givin the Ninevite people forty days to write their wills and then he was gonna blast em. Using his new math calculation he now figured that Nineveh was gonna be destroyed the next day, that bein day number forty-one. So he gazed up to the stars and smiled figurin that tomorrow God was gonna toast these people but good.
The next morning J wakes up with a smile and stretches and looks down over the city and sees…nothing. In one fleeting moment J figures God killed every one of them in their sleep. But no sooner then he could jump for joy at that though he noticed someone walking slowly down a street covered with sackcloth. Then he began to notice some farm animals covered with sackcloth. J thinks to himself, “That’s not something you see everyday.” J was puzzled by these events and wondered why everyone was in morning, even the cattle. They usually don’t morn over their dead. Then it slowly began to dawn on J that if everyone was wearing sackcloth there must have been a kingly order requiring such conduct.
Now he was really steamed and told God that he wanted to die because God wasn’t gonna do what he said he was gonna do. Now God steps into the picture and says to Jonah that the true nature of God desires repentance and forgiveness. Two things Jonah has been lacking. God also accused Jonah of not caring about anyone but himself and scolded Jonah for not having any compassion on the children who would have perished.
In the bible the story of Jonah ends as abruptly as it begins. There is little mention of Jonah outside his book and it is not even clear who wrote the story. Since the entire reference is in third person it gives evidence that the story was written by someone other than Jonah.
The people of Nineveh repented and were spared but the story has a deeper meaning. The story brings to light God’s plan for the gentiles, those who did not have an inheritance of God’s mercy as the Jews. Jesus was the next Jonah to walk the planet. Jesus brought the message of hope to everyone and removed forever the curse of darkness that had plagued all non-believers.
That’s why Jesus referred to Jonah when he said that he would be three days in the heart of the earth like Jonah was three days in the belly of a fish. Because the same thing was going to happened when Jesus got out of the grave as when Jonah got out of the fish; salvation.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
The Story of Jonah (part 4)
This story is a continuation of the Jonah story to see the beginning go to the previous Jonah 3 stories.
So Jonah tells everyone who he is and what he is doing there and they stop rioting and listen to him. They are taken by his simple message of, “…in forty days you guys are toast.” People in the open mike café begin to have a change of heart about how their lives have been lived up to that point. Clearly, Jonah has made inroads in Nineveh but he has a long way to go.
Then Jonah goes to get a pizza at a local pizza shop. He goes into “Tony’s Pizza” and orders a couple of slices and a soda. The guy makin the pizza says with an Italian accent, “Hey you want thata with a anchovies or somethin?” Jonah says in his own mocking way, “No a I don’t think soa.” Then he starts to chuckle to himself. But the pizza guy just looks at him kinda strange and says, “Are you makin fun of mea?” Jonah says, “Noa I’m nota” and starts chuckling again. Then the pizza guy sees a fly buzzin around the counter and picks up one of Jonah’s slices and swats the fly in mid air with the slice of pizza. Then he throws the pizza on a plate with the other slice and hands it to Jonah and says, “Enjoy.”
Jonah takes his meal over to a booth and starts chowin down. When all of a sudden a guy comes into the place and says, “Hey has anybody seen that foreign prophet who says the county is headed for Hades in a hand basket?” Several people start looking around and they notice Jonah who is thoroughly entrenched in his meal. One guy at the table next to him says, “Excuse me senior, but are you the prophet the man is looking for?” “He wants to know about Hades and hand baskets.” Jonah looks up and says with his mouth full, “Can’t a guy eat lunch around here without getting interrupted every five minutes?” Then Jonah looks at the man who just walked in looking for him and says, “Wadda ya want anyway can’t you see I’m tryin to enjoy my meal?”
The guy walks up to Jonah and says, “Sir, everyone is trying to figure out why you came all the way over here in a big fish just to tell us that we are as good as dead. “You see sir, we just figured that if God wanted to smote us off the face of the earth He would have just done it and not told us first. “That’s why we was wonderin if maybe God was thinking about not sending us to Hades in a hand basket?” “See we are a simple people when it comes to God and stuff like that and we don’t know what is goin on. “So maybe you could tell us?”
Jonah thought about what the man just said and figured these people weren’t as ignorant about God as they thought. They knew nothing about the Hebrew God and yet figured He could show compassion and love more than any other god out there. Jonah also figured that God was watching him real close and if Jonah didn’t start telling them how to repent then God was gonna hold Jonah accountable because he was their prophet now whether he liked it or not. Yep old J was in a real tough spot. All he had to do was go back to Hebrew land and tell the tale of how Nineveh was singed right before his eyes and everybody at home was gonna love him for it. But if the Ninevites repented and started serving God then they would be spared and he would have a new people to prophet for. That didn’t sound so good at all.
While Jonah was mulling over his options the man speakin to him interrupted his thinking by asking him the prophets most feared question, “Sir what must we do to be saved?” Jonah turned to ice. The thought of one of Israel’s greatest prophets given up the keys to the kingdom to a bunch of pagans was something Jonah was not ready for just yet. So he looked at the man and said, “I am a Jew and I serve the Lord God almighty the maker of heaven and earth. That is why I am saved and you are not.” Then Jonah got up from the table and walked out of the pizzeria.
He figured that was the best way to handle the situation. He could always say to God that he told the Ninevites how to be saved, even though he didn’t and he could also say to his own people that he never told the Ninevites how to be saved. Jonah was walkin a thin line one that was barely visible, but could easily trip a grown man, even one of influence and stature like Jonah.
Eventually word got out about this guy who came out of a big fish. Even people at the highest level of government began hearing about Jonah and wanted to see him in concert. So the king of Nineveh and a bunch of his cronies bought tickets to get front row seats to see Jonah on a Saturday night. Jonah appeared on stage and the audience got real quiet. He started telling everyone that they had sinned against the Lord God Almighty by ignoring Him and treating everyone disrespectfully.
To be continued…
So Jonah tells everyone who he is and what he is doing there and they stop rioting and listen to him. They are taken by his simple message of, “…in forty days you guys are toast.” People in the open mike café begin to have a change of heart about how their lives have been lived up to that point. Clearly, Jonah has made inroads in Nineveh but he has a long way to go.
Then Jonah goes to get a pizza at a local pizza shop. He goes into “Tony’s Pizza” and orders a couple of slices and a soda. The guy makin the pizza says with an Italian accent, “Hey you want thata with a anchovies or somethin?” Jonah says in his own mocking way, “No a I don’t think soa.” Then he starts to chuckle to himself. But the pizza guy just looks at him kinda strange and says, “Are you makin fun of mea?” Jonah says, “Noa I’m nota” and starts chuckling again. Then the pizza guy sees a fly buzzin around the counter and picks up one of Jonah’s slices and swats the fly in mid air with the slice of pizza. Then he throws the pizza on a plate with the other slice and hands it to Jonah and says, “Enjoy.”
Jonah takes his meal over to a booth and starts chowin down. When all of a sudden a guy comes into the place and says, “Hey has anybody seen that foreign prophet who says the county is headed for Hades in a hand basket?” Several people start looking around and they notice Jonah who is thoroughly entrenched in his meal. One guy at the table next to him says, “Excuse me senior, but are you the prophet the man is looking for?” “He wants to know about Hades and hand baskets.” Jonah looks up and says with his mouth full, “Can’t a guy eat lunch around here without getting interrupted every five minutes?” Then Jonah looks at the man who just walked in looking for him and says, “Wadda ya want anyway can’t you see I’m tryin to enjoy my meal?”
The guy walks up to Jonah and says, “Sir, everyone is trying to figure out why you came all the way over here in a big fish just to tell us that we are as good as dead. “You see sir, we just figured that if God wanted to smote us off the face of the earth He would have just done it and not told us first. “That’s why we was wonderin if maybe God was thinking about not sending us to Hades in a hand basket?” “See we are a simple people when it comes to God and stuff like that and we don’t know what is goin on. “So maybe you could tell us?”
Jonah thought about what the man just said and figured these people weren’t as ignorant about God as they thought. They knew nothing about the Hebrew God and yet figured He could show compassion and love more than any other god out there. Jonah also figured that God was watching him real close and if Jonah didn’t start telling them how to repent then God was gonna hold Jonah accountable because he was their prophet now whether he liked it or not. Yep old J was in a real tough spot. All he had to do was go back to Hebrew land and tell the tale of how Nineveh was singed right before his eyes and everybody at home was gonna love him for it. But if the Ninevites repented and started serving God then they would be spared and he would have a new people to prophet for. That didn’t sound so good at all.
While Jonah was mulling over his options the man speakin to him interrupted his thinking by asking him the prophets most feared question, “Sir what must we do to be saved?” Jonah turned to ice. The thought of one of Israel’s greatest prophets given up the keys to the kingdom to a bunch of pagans was something Jonah was not ready for just yet. So he looked at the man and said, “I am a Jew and I serve the Lord God almighty the maker of heaven and earth. That is why I am saved and you are not.” Then Jonah got up from the table and walked out of the pizzeria.
He figured that was the best way to handle the situation. He could always say to God that he told the Ninevites how to be saved, even though he didn’t and he could also say to his own people that he never told the Ninevites how to be saved. Jonah was walkin a thin line one that was barely visible, but could easily trip a grown man, even one of influence and stature like Jonah.
Eventually word got out about this guy who came out of a big fish. Even people at the highest level of government began hearing about Jonah and wanted to see him in concert. So the king of Nineveh and a bunch of his cronies bought tickets to get front row seats to see Jonah on a Saturday night. Jonah appeared on stage and the audience got real quiet. He started telling everyone that they had sinned against the Lord God Almighty by ignoring Him and treating everyone disrespectfully.
To be continued…
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The Story of Jonah (part 3)
This blog is a continuation of the story of Jonah. To fully understand what is happening go and read The Story of Jonah part 1 and 2. I will continue to tell the story in my own words.
Then Jonah walks into an open mike café where people take the stage and start tellin jokes and everything. One middle-aged guy walks up to the microphone and starts rattling off one-liners. The dude says, “Two guys are in a drug store looking at a display rack of condoms. They both see a box with twelve packs in it. The single guy thinks to himself ‘I hope it lasts the weekend, I got a party to go to.’ The married guy looks at the same pack and says ‘I hope I finish the box before it expires in three years.’ The married men in the crowd start laughin. The comic wanna be continues, “ There are two type of guys who never have sex, married men and monks and I’m not so sure about the monks.” Now the married men are really startin to get into it. The comic continues, “An eight year old walks up to his father and says, ‘Dad can you tell me about the birds and the bees?’ “His father says, ‘How would I know? your mother and I have been married for twelve years.’ ‘Ask your uncle he’s divorced.’ Now the men are howling.
He continues, “Years ago I wise man told me the truth about married people and sex he said to me ‘Frank, this is how things work in the real world. ‘If you put a gumball in a gumball machine every time you have sex after you are married and take a gumball out of the machine every time you have sex after your kids are born you will spend the rest of your life finishing up the gumballs.’ Then the comic says, “It’s a good thing I don’t like gumballs.” The married men are in stitches. One guy in the front has laughed so hard he begins having chest pains and paramedic start tending to him. The comic sees he has them and goes in for the kill, metaphorically speaking of course. “What do you call a married man who sends his wife flowers?” The crowd silences waiting for the punch line. “A poor investor.” More howls. In fact some married men in the crowd try to persuade the comic to run for office.
The comic says to the single guys, “Boys you better take my advice. “When you are on a date with a new girl you need to bring up the conversation of children at just the right time, after the main entrée and before desert. “Ask her how she feels about children. “If she says ‘I love kids’ then tell her you will call her a cab. “However, if she turns very angry and begins using expletives that you haven’t heard since you were in the navy then you have two choices; one, immediately fall on your knees and propose or two, get out of the way because if you don’t you will be trampled to death by every other man in the place who has more sense then you.” With that line one of the paramedics (the married one) now starts laughing so hard he begins experiencing chest pains and his partner starts tending to him.
Now they are done. The married men in the audience are on the floor with tears flowing out of their eyes. The single men have a forlorn look on their faces. One single guy says to his fiancé, “Maybe we need to talk.” Several women begin throwing things at the stage and a near riot begins to break out. One married woman looks at her hysterical husband and says, “I am never gonna speak to you again.” To which her husband says, “Can I get that in writing?”
The police are notified and several squad cars and a paddy wagon arrive. A number of married women are hitting their husbands over the head with whatever they could find. As the police enter the building some of the single cops try to separate the wives from their husbands in a vain attempt to save the husbands lives. The married cops don’t bother because they know from experience that the husbands will eventually go home and their wives will finish the job there.
There was near pandemonium in the place and Jonah, somewhat bemused by what he just witnessed, realized there was little difference between the married men of Nineveh and the married men of Hebrew land. Now he understood why the Ninevites were always going off to war. Jonah figured it was better for Ninevite men to fight in a far off land than in their own homes. But he had an idea, which he figured might actually work. Jonah figured since the Ninevites in this place were completely preoccupied with their own self destruction he may actually have an opportunity to tell them about God’s immediate plans for them.
So he goes up to the stage and grabs the microphone and calls for their attention. The crowd, somewhat startled by the guy with a foreign accent and fishy look, begin to calm down and listen to Jonah.
To be continued…
Then Jonah walks into an open mike café where people take the stage and start tellin jokes and everything. One middle-aged guy walks up to the microphone and starts rattling off one-liners. The dude says, “Two guys are in a drug store looking at a display rack of condoms. They both see a box with twelve packs in it. The single guy thinks to himself ‘I hope it lasts the weekend, I got a party to go to.’ The married guy looks at the same pack and says ‘I hope I finish the box before it expires in three years.’ The married men in the crowd start laughin. The comic wanna be continues, “ There are two type of guys who never have sex, married men and monks and I’m not so sure about the monks.” Now the married men are really startin to get into it. The comic continues, “An eight year old walks up to his father and says, ‘Dad can you tell me about the birds and the bees?’ “His father says, ‘How would I know? your mother and I have been married for twelve years.’ ‘Ask your uncle he’s divorced.’ Now the men are howling.
He continues, “Years ago I wise man told me the truth about married people and sex he said to me ‘Frank, this is how things work in the real world. ‘If you put a gumball in a gumball machine every time you have sex after you are married and take a gumball out of the machine every time you have sex after your kids are born you will spend the rest of your life finishing up the gumballs.’ Then the comic says, “It’s a good thing I don’t like gumballs.” The married men are in stitches. One guy in the front has laughed so hard he begins having chest pains and paramedic start tending to him. The comic sees he has them and goes in for the kill, metaphorically speaking of course. “What do you call a married man who sends his wife flowers?” The crowd silences waiting for the punch line. “A poor investor.” More howls. In fact some married men in the crowd try to persuade the comic to run for office.
The comic says to the single guys, “Boys you better take my advice. “When you are on a date with a new girl you need to bring up the conversation of children at just the right time, after the main entrée and before desert. “Ask her how she feels about children. “If she says ‘I love kids’ then tell her you will call her a cab. “However, if she turns very angry and begins using expletives that you haven’t heard since you were in the navy then you have two choices; one, immediately fall on your knees and propose or two, get out of the way because if you don’t you will be trampled to death by every other man in the place who has more sense then you.” With that line one of the paramedics (the married one) now starts laughing so hard he begins experiencing chest pains and his partner starts tending to him.
Now they are done. The married men in the audience are on the floor with tears flowing out of their eyes. The single men have a forlorn look on their faces. One single guy says to his fiancé, “Maybe we need to talk.” Several women begin throwing things at the stage and a near riot begins to break out. One married woman looks at her hysterical husband and says, “I am never gonna speak to you again.” To which her husband says, “Can I get that in writing?”
The police are notified and several squad cars and a paddy wagon arrive. A number of married women are hitting their husbands over the head with whatever they could find. As the police enter the building some of the single cops try to separate the wives from their husbands in a vain attempt to save the husbands lives. The married cops don’t bother because they know from experience that the husbands will eventually go home and their wives will finish the job there.
There was near pandemonium in the place and Jonah, somewhat bemused by what he just witnessed, realized there was little difference between the married men of Nineveh and the married men of Hebrew land. Now he understood why the Ninevites were always going off to war. Jonah figured it was better for Ninevite men to fight in a far off land than in their own homes. But he had an idea, which he figured might actually work. Jonah figured since the Ninevites in this place were completely preoccupied with their own self destruction he may actually have an opportunity to tell them about God’s immediate plans for them.
So he goes up to the stage and grabs the microphone and calls for their attention. The crowd, somewhat startled by the guy with a foreign accent and fishy look, begin to calm down and listen to Jonah.
To be continued…
Sunday, June 29, 2008
The Story of Jonah (part 2)
This blog is a continuation of the story of Jonah. To fully understand what is happening go back and read “The Story of Jonah (part 1). I will continue to tell the story in my own words.
So the sailors consider what Jonah told them to do and figure they wanted no part of that. These guys may not have been boy scouts, but they weren’t murders either. They were just tryin to make a livin and get on with their lives and they had no interest in throwing somebody overboard just because he told them they could.
So the sailors rowed for their lives, but it didn’t matter they weren’t goin anywhere. The waves continued to batter the ship and the men were getting more and more tired. So they started talking amongst themselves and one sailor said to another, “This Hebrew ain’t worth the trouble he is causin. “All we gotta do is toss him overboard and all our troubles are over. “Ain’t it better that one man die rather than the who ship perish?” But the other dude said, “You are talking out of your rectum. “Jonah already told us that the Hebrew God is after him for not following orders and everything. “If we throw him overboard then we are gonna have the Hebrew God coming after us. “By the looks of things that won’t be very good.”
So they started consorting over the matter and even figured on drawing lots again. One said one thing and another said another thing but in the end the sea was as bad as ever and they were no better off. Then they did what everybody eventually does when their lives are on the line; they prayed. Boy did they pray; they were telling God that they did not want to throw Jonah overboard and they actually liked the guy but Jonah said orders were orders and he had to be tossed so we are gonna toss him. They begged God not to harm them or their families and they even prayed for Jonah because they figured he was as good as dead.
So they tossed the rebellious prophet overboard and the sea stopped is raging. The men looked at each other and said, “How did the sea stop so quickly? Sailors knew that the sea continues to remain agitated for hours after a storm passes. So when they saw the sea get calm as quickly as it did they knew this was very unusual, even miraculous. So the men feared the Hebrew God and made vows and offered a sacrifice to the Lord God because they knew that He was the Lord God Almighty.
When you think about it you have to realize that the first Gentile converts from Jonah were not in Nineveh they were multi national sailors in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. Funny how God works, because Jonah was in a state of rebellion when these men became converts and now they would take the news of God’s mercy back to their homes and tell everyone of the wonders of the Hebrew God. Turning gentiles into Hebrews was the very thing Jonah did not want to do and he did it without even going to Nineveh. You can’t keep a good man down.
So there is Jonah floatin around in the middle of the sea and the ship gets pushed along by a gentle wind and Jonah sees it goin away and figures he is gonna die, and that was just fine for him because things hadn’t been goin so well lately anyhow. Low and behold this huge fish comes by and opens its great big yap and swallows Jonah whole. So Jonah is sittin there in the dark figuring he was gonna be digested before long but he doesn’t get digested. The fish doesn’t even burp. It’s like the fish doesn’t even know Jonah is inside.
Three days go bye and Jonah is still sittin there and he suddenly realizes that he is not gonna die. He also realizes that he ain't getting out of that fish until he has a sit down with the Almighty. He starts telling God that he thought he was gonna die and God pulled him out of that jam and now it is time for him to pay back God.
Then the Lord God Almighty commands Jonah a second time telling him that he better hightail it to Nineveh and tell them what God is gonna tell Jonah to tell them. So Jonah takes the long walk to Nineveh and when he arrives he looks… well lets just say he looks like someone who had been in a great big fish for three days. Not exactly dating material. He goes to the city and starts telling everybody that in forty days they are gonna be toast, and ya know what they even start belivin him.
Once he even walks into a bar and stands up on the bar itself and looks everybody in the eye, one at a time of course. The bartender says, “Yo dude get off my bar.” Then Jonah looks at the bartender and it was one of those if looks could kill looks. And he says to the bartender, “What are you gonna do if I don’t?” The bartender says to Jonah, “Look punk if you don’t get off my bar I’m gonna call my friends over and we are gonna wail on you but good.” Jonah didn’t even flinch. He just looked at the bartender and said, “Go ahead, make my day.” The bartender was so shocked he just let Jonah stay there.
Then Jonah said to everybody in the bar, “Listen up pilgrims and listen good. “In forty days all of you are gonna be worm food because the Lord God Almighty has told me to tell you that you are a miserable lot, you don’t call on God, you don’t pray for anybody including yourselves, you don’t try to help people that you know, or even people you don’t know. “You take care of yourselves and no one else and God loves everybody including you and He wants each of us to love our neighbor even if you don’t like them..” The Lord expects you to love you neighbor and help them and He is tired of all the killin and evil that goes down when a people does not have a moral compass to guide them. “The Lord God has already told you what is good and what is required of you, to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”(Micah 6:8.) “You fellow man is your responsibility, not anyone else’s." The people in the bar looked at Jonah as if he had two heads. Then they started to talk amongst themselves and figured he was right they really were bad people.
To be continued.
So the sailors consider what Jonah told them to do and figure they wanted no part of that. These guys may not have been boy scouts, but they weren’t murders either. They were just tryin to make a livin and get on with their lives and they had no interest in throwing somebody overboard just because he told them they could.
So the sailors rowed for their lives, but it didn’t matter they weren’t goin anywhere. The waves continued to batter the ship and the men were getting more and more tired. So they started talking amongst themselves and one sailor said to another, “This Hebrew ain’t worth the trouble he is causin. “All we gotta do is toss him overboard and all our troubles are over. “Ain’t it better that one man die rather than the who ship perish?” But the other dude said, “You are talking out of your rectum. “Jonah already told us that the Hebrew God is after him for not following orders and everything. “If we throw him overboard then we are gonna have the Hebrew God coming after us. “By the looks of things that won’t be very good.”
So they started consorting over the matter and even figured on drawing lots again. One said one thing and another said another thing but in the end the sea was as bad as ever and they were no better off. Then they did what everybody eventually does when their lives are on the line; they prayed. Boy did they pray; they were telling God that they did not want to throw Jonah overboard and they actually liked the guy but Jonah said orders were orders and he had to be tossed so we are gonna toss him. They begged God not to harm them or their families and they even prayed for Jonah because they figured he was as good as dead.
So they tossed the rebellious prophet overboard and the sea stopped is raging. The men looked at each other and said, “How did the sea stop so quickly? Sailors knew that the sea continues to remain agitated for hours after a storm passes. So when they saw the sea get calm as quickly as it did they knew this was very unusual, even miraculous. So the men feared the Hebrew God and made vows and offered a sacrifice to the Lord God because they knew that He was the Lord God Almighty.
When you think about it you have to realize that the first Gentile converts from Jonah were not in Nineveh they were multi national sailors in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. Funny how God works, because Jonah was in a state of rebellion when these men became converts and now they would take the news of God’s mercy back to their homes and tell everyone of the wonders of the Hebrew God. Turning gentiles into Hebrews was the very thing Jonah did not want to do and he did it without even going to Nineveh. You can’t keep a good man down.
So there is Jonah floatin around in the middle of the sea and the ship gets pushed along by a gentle wind and Jonah sees it goin away and figures he is gonna die, and that was just fine for him because things hadn’t been goin so well lately anyhow. Low and behold this huge fish comes by and opens its great big yap and swallows Jonah whole. So Jonah is sittin there in the dark figuring he was gonna be digested before long but he doesn’t get digested. The fish doesn’t even burp. It’s like the fish doesn’t even know Jonah is inside.
Three days go bye and Jonah is still sittin there and he suddenly realizes that he is not gonna die. He also realizes that he ain't getting out of that fish until he has a sit down with the Almighty. He starts telling God that he thought he was gonna die and God pulled him out of that jam and now it is time for him to pay back God.
Then the Lord God Almighty commands Jonah a second time telling him that he better hightail it to Nineveh and tell them what God is gonna tell Jonah to tell them. So Jonah takes the long walk to Nineveh and when he arrives he looks… well lets just say he looks like someone who had been in a great big fish for three days. Not exactly dating material. He goes to the city and starts telling everybody that in forty days they are gonna be toast, and ya know what they even start belivin him.
Once he even walks into a bar and stands up on the bar itself and looks everybody in the eye, one at a time of course. The bartender says, “Yo dude get off my bar.” Then Jonah looks at the bartender and it was one of those if looks could kill looks. And he says to the bartender, “What are you gonna do if I don’t?” The bartender says to Jonah, “Look punk if you don’t get off my bar I’m gonna call my friends over and we are gonna wail on you but good.” Jonah didn’t even flinch. He just looked at the bartender and said, “Go ahead, make my day.” The bartender was so shocked he just let Jonah stay there.
Then Jonah said to everybody in the bar, “Listen up pilgrims and listen good. “In forty days all of you are gonna be worm food because the Lord God Almighty has told me to tell you that you are a miserable lot, you don’t call on God, you don’t pray for anybody including yourselves, you don’t try to help people that you know, or even people you don’t know. “You take care of yourselves and no one else and God loves everybody including you and He wants each of us to love our neighbor even if you don’t like them..” The Lord expects you to love you neighbor and help them and He is tired of all the killin and evil that goes down when a people does not have a moral compass to guide them. “The Lord God has already told you what is good and what is required of you, to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”(Micah 6:8.) “You fellow man is your responsibility, not anyone else’s." The people in the bar looked at Jonah as if he had two heads. Then they started to talk amongst themselves and figured he was right they really were bad people.
To be continued.
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